CRACK IS WHACK
by My Vantilene
Summary: Robin expected to see Artemis when he strolled into homeroom...but what was Kaldur, Supey, KF, and Miss M doing there? Includes drugs, ticked FBI agents, getaway cars, liquor, Marvin abuse, and faux Speed. Welcome to my first CRACK FIC.


Disclaimer: How dare you? I am Mrs. Warner!

_Okay, let's pretend they're all in the same grade. Want me to make up and excuse? Sure, Robin skipped some grades, Superboy and Megan got held back, Kaldur's really fifteen in human years, and Roy…he got pulled out of school and was put back in…? Lucky Artemis and Wally, I don't have to make BS up for them. I don't know, think whatever you want._

Okay.

What?

Dick was used to seeing Artemis at his school…but when he strolled into homeroom he did _not _expect to see Superboy, M'gann, Kaldur'ahm, _and _Wally. He couldn't help but wonder…what the frick basket was going on?

~*~NA~*~NA~*~NA~*~NA~*~NA~*~NA~*~NA~*~NA~*~M'GANN!~*~

"So, you guys are sure this is…cool?" Megan asked, eyeing the rolled up powder with suspicion and somewhat wonder.

"Oh, yeah, girl! All the other cheerleaders are doing it. Besides, couple whiffs, and you can watch all your troubles melt away…"

"Well I guess it's okay if everyone's doing it…(1)"

"That's the spirit!"

"Alright, here goes nothing…"

~*~NA~*~NA~*~NA~*~NA~*~NA~*~NA~*~NA~*~NA~*~SUPERBOY!~*~

"Yeeeeeah, man. The cheerleaders had a lock in at the gym last night," Marvin explained showing Superboy the pictures on his camera, "Talk about score!"

"AHH!" He shouted, throwing the kid on the floor and locking his hand on his elbow, hurtling towards the boy, "SUPERBOY SMASH!"

~*~NA~*~NA~*~NA~*~NA~*~NA~*~NA~*~NA~*~NA~*~KALDUR!~*~

"And what would you like, grape Kool-Aid(2)?"

"Give me one of everything."

"Sir, how old are you?"

"Do you want my money or not?"

"Of course!" the bartender snagged a few glasses from the bottom cabinet and filled each one with a different colored potent potable.

"So, what's your problem? The hood not treating you well(3)?"

"My friend, Sasuke – der, Ben, um, I mean Garth. Yeah, _Garth_," he began taking a five minute swig, leaving the bartender waiting while he chugged the drink, when he was done he giggled, "broke some MAJOR bro code rule or something. I mean two months! I leave for two months!"

"Well, I'm sure this Garth character is a real douche." The bartended didn't really know what to do when the man put his head down on the table and started crying.

"Hey! That's my best friend your talking about!" he shouted, grabbing the man's collar.

"Um…Sorry?" He shoved the man away and sat back down.

"Stupid Cree Summers – der – uh, I mean Tula!"

~*~NA~*~NA~*~NA~*~NA~*~NA~*~NA~*~NA~*~NA~*~WALLY!~*~

"I don't think you understand, officer, I'm in a hurry!"

"Alright, just tell me why you crashed into that tree."

"Because of speed!"

"Speed, ay? You're coming with me son."

~*~NA~*~NA~*~NA~*~NA~*~NA~*~NA~*~NA~*~NA~*~BATMAN!~*~

"Why the JIMINY CRICKET are all of you HERE?" the Dark Knight asked, exasperatedly stepping into Commissioner Gordon's territory.

"Well, they said that it was–"

"–I'm sorry–"

"–they shouldn't have–"

"-AHHHHHHHHHHHHH-"

"–he's the reason I–"

"–I don't even know why–"

And finally, they congregated for, "This is all a big misunderstanding!"

"Hey," Wally looked around, "We're not all here."

"Yeah," Batman snorted, "At least Robin and Artemis decided to be smart this evening…"

~*~NA~*~NA~*~NA~*~NA~*~NA~*~NA~*~NA~*~NA~*~ROBIN!~*~

"Okay, _Mr. FBI_," he spat, mocking the man's government rank,"what's the big whelming deal? I'm just a thirteen-year-old."

"You broke into our files, stole precious, _incriminating _evidence against Mr. Zucco, his address, phone number, which you still haven't returned, hacked our data base, cut off our communication to anyone outside this building, and stole three donuts from the break room. Three! You also **hacked** our **motion** **sensors**."

"Yeah, whatevs."

"Well, Mr. Drake, I'll admit you're smart." He leaned in close and smiled wolfishly, "But I'm smarter."

~*~NA~*~NA~*~NA~*~NA~*~NA~*~NA~*~NA~*~NA~*~ARTEMIS!~*~

"Hey, Robin," Artemis called from the drivers seat. She had snuck out once her mom was asleep because the Boy Wonder had texted her saying they had a mission and to meet him there, "what's the – HOLY!" she turned to see hundreds of men with guns running towards the agile kid. He jumped in the car and yelled,

"Drive, woman, DRIVE!"

"Wha–" she turned the car on and drove as fast as she could, "I'm the get away driver? That makes me an accessory – Robin what did you do?"

"Eh. Those guys are just really territorial over their donuts."

~*~NA~*~NA~*~NA~*~NA~*~NA~*~NA~*~NA~*~NA~*~!~*~

"Ugh." Grunted Wally, flopping down on the couch.

"What's wrong, Kid Mouth?" Robin asked.

"Terrible day at school." That earned a "Tell me about it." From Kaldur, a "You said it!" from Artemis and an "AHHHHHHHHHH!" from Superboy.

"What do you mean?"

"Bats forced us all to go to school together at some snobby prep school Artemis was already going to."

"Ahh." He nodded in understanding

"Why weren't you there? I'm just wondering."  
"Because Batman's not that stupid. Going to school with you guys would give away my identity. Duh."

"I know what will cheer everyone up," claimed M'gann, floating into the room, "Brownies!" she floated in a tray and set it on the coffee table. Everyone took one and smiled. This earned a "These are really good!" from Robin, a "These are sweet, but not as sweet as you, beautiful." from Kid Flash, an "AHHHHHHH!" from Supey, a "Thank you." From Kaldur, and a "What's in this?" from Artemis.

"Oh, a friend gave me the recipe."

"What's it called?" Robin asked, whipping out his computer-glove, to maybe type it in and find it's page on AllRecipes . com.

"Pot Brownies." She claimed cheerfully.

_AN:_

_Mwhaha. My attempt at humor. I was reading the comments for Bereft and everyone kept saying Superboy was like Hulk Jr., so that's why he's OOC. And in Targets (which for some AMAmazingly Godly reason is still on youtube. Seriously, why hasn't CN taken it down? Lol, leakage!) all of the comments said "Megan's lying. She's a white Martian." ROFL. _

_Flame if ya wanna, I know this was horrible._

_(1) Katara said that in the episode The Great Divide and every time she does, my brother will shout "Don't do drugs, Katara!"_

_(2 and 3) I'm SO racist. I apologize!_


End file.
